We know each other by the stories we tell. In fact, we organize our lives through our
stories, whether it is telling a friend about the trip you took to the market
where you discovered some beautiful organic avocados, or sitting in a group
telling the story of your grief. We may actually be creating our lives via
these stories, so perhaps it would be wise to pay attention.
A wise woman said to me a long time ago: “As you tell the story, it begins to happen.
So why not make it a good one?” I agree
wholeheartedly and find myself concerned when I spend time with someone whose
stories are filled with negativity, disgruntled complaints and woe. Not to be too simplistic, but if the stories
we tell are dark and dreary, couldn’t that affect how we view the world? If we were paying attention to the story as
it is shaped by our words, would we be able to tweak it a little? If like
attracts like, do we attract the worst if that is where our attention is?
Grief is such an unsettling place. We must give voice to
fears, anxiety, loneliness – all those seemingly negative and overwhelming
emotions. Yet, is it possible to find a
balance between releasing these monsters and searching for something positive –
a kernel of gold within the muck that can give us hope? This kernel is the heart-seed of
possibilities, a “promise,” as the poet Rabindrath Tagore said. We used this poem as part of our wedding
ceremony, allowing for possibilities to show up in unexpected ways and to
flower. Did I think that widowhood would
be one of these possibilities? No. But I continue to tell a good story and to
attempt, with great effort, to transform cataclysm into a meaningful life.
What story are you telling today? How can you use your story to transform your
life?
The faith waiting in the heart of the seed
Promises
a miracle of life
Which
it cannot prove at once.
~RabindranathTagore, Fireflies
