When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
~ Thomas Jefferson
I visited with an old friend this week and much reminiscing
and catching up was shared. At this
stage in our lives, we spent some time on health issues. He raised an
interesting point, one that I sadly admit I had not considered. He spoke about
searching for a respectful, compassionate oncologist when his wife was
diagnosed with breast cancer. He shared that one doctor dismissed him after
being introduced, without even a greeting, and summarily banished him to a seat
in the corner, behind her computer screen which effectively blocked the view of
his wife. He felt disenfranchised and
hurt. He said, “there is no support for
the men in this equation when your partner has cancer.”
I caught my breath because he is right. There are a lot of expectations on the male
partner when a woman has a diagnosis of cancer, particularly when it is one
that seems to have sexual connotations. Women struggle with how breast cancer
treatment will affect their body image as well as their desirability and need
the support of their lovers and husbands to help them through. Conversely, the
partner of a man with prostrate cancer, in the midst of stepping up and
caring for him, might also be dealing with fears and worries about losing an
integral part of their relationship as a result.
What is the impact on these supportive partners? Who is
considering and helping them? If you are or have been in that position, what do
you need? Please comment and share!
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